Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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