if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You ate ashes out of my bong
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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