I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
