Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
