bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
