OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
nutella sex= disaster
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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