I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
