Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
