He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
