That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
