as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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