I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
