Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
