what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
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Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.