Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?

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(202): Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way? http://tfl.nu/rhdn

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(734): View more from Michigan

Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?

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(734): Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits? http://tfl.nu/qmc8

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(203): View more from Connecticut

We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.

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(203): We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad. http://tfl.nu/dqqr

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(585): View more from New York

Why was I handcuffed to the roof?

(518): View more from New York

It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly

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(585): Why was I handcuffed to the roof? (518): It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly http://tfl.nu/nk88

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(360): View more from Washington

Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.

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(360): Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything. http://tfl.nu/kqmn

Replies (15) Good night (5219) Bad night (1399)
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(224): View more from Illinois

It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.

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(224): It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo. http://tfl.nu/9q3e

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(519): View more from Ontario

Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.

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(519): Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen. http://tfl.nu/rpyn

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(912): View more from Georgia

Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.

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(912): Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute. http://tfl.nu/omad

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(845): View more from New York

officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.

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(845): officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand. http://tfl.nu/8nd1

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(480): View more from Arizona

You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.

(602): View more from Arizona

Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.

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(480): You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home. (602): Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul. http://tfl.nu/qvbw

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(630): View more from Illinois

So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could

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(630): So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could http://tfl.nu/zj3u

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(602): View more from Arizona

If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.

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(602): If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for. http://tfl.nu/540a

Replies (17) Good night (1596) Bad night (339)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.

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(479): I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW. http://tfl.nu/32cb

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(530): View more from California

I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.

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(530): I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing. http://tfl.nu/7jie

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(309): View more from Illinois

I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.

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(309): I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina. http://tfl.nu/4eep

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