Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.