your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
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Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
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The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.