Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried

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(570): I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried http://tfl.nu/vdpu

Replies (20) Good night (763) Bad night (3875)
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(408): View more from California

man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"

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(408): man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt" http://tfl.nu/3qgn

Replies (22) Good night (944) Bad night (3367)
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(914): View more from New York

you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.

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(914): you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/cp2f

Replies (21) Good night (1319) Bad night (7109)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex

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(608): i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex http://tfl.nu/mh19

Replies (26) Good night (1675) Bad night (4248)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.

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(775): Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I. http://tfl.nu/56to

Replies (3) Good night (1286) Bad night (2658)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night

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(610): i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night http://tfl.nu/l16l

Replies (7) Good night (1443) Bad night (2901)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.

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(304): as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now. http://tfl.nu/olha

Replies (8) Good night (3659) Bad night (1416)
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(905): View more from Ontario

I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight

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(905): I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight http://tfl.nu/g5pa

Replies (2) Good night (1685) Bad night (930)
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(315): View more from New York

I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you

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(315): I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you http://tfl.nu/9k47

Replies (8) Good night (2400) Bad night (1072)
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(310): View more from California

Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart

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(310): Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart http://tfl.nu/wp92

Replies (8) Good night (1199) Bad night (606)
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(417): View more from Missouri

It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.

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(417): It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday. http://tfl.nu/s40o

Replies (15) Good night (2507) Bad night (674)
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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.

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(787): I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers. http://tfl.nu/zztx

Replies (1) Good night (698) Bad night (981)
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(702): View more from Nevada

This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change

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(702): This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change http://tfl.nu/0eyu

Replies (1) Good night (971) Bad night (466)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.

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(202): There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1. http://tfl.nu/62gt

Replies (8) Good night (752) Bad night (1428)
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(407): View more from Florida

I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.

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(407): I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case. http://tfl.nu/43fa

Replies (6) Good night (760) Bad night (387)

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