he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus