he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
