is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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