I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots