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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum

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• (716): View more from New York

  i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.

  Fav 9 4059 1218

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.

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• (951): View more from California

  Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.

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• (209): View more from California

  The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult

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• (347): View more from New York

  My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate

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