So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
