I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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