Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
