Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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