No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
