She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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