i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Randomize
