If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
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reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
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Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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