I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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