we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be still, my beating vagina.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize