Sry I called you an 8
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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