Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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