how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
