Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
