So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
