oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
