its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the day after is always just damage control
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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