I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
