I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
