i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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