Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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