Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize