Don't you send me to vm
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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