But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
