You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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