oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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