is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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