I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
