I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
