At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's rum buckets o'clock
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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