do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My vagina is officially offended.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
