I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize