Say something about gay babies.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
