I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I think I have vodka in my lungs
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
