Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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