the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
