I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
