I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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