your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
