in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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