I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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