Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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